Look, everybody grows old. When you’re a celebrity, that can get a little scary – and when you’re the audience, you can’t stop looking away from the slow-motion wrinkles.
But get this: Some extremely talented people have taken photos of popular celebrities and used their skills to age them up ahead of time…by at least several decades. This isn’t some 2-buck phone app, these are some real looks at how our most popular magazine icons are going to grow old.
It’s not always pretty. It’s not always what you’d expect. But it’s also not always a trainwreck. Curious about what Bieber, Emma Watson, or Adrian Brody would look like in their old age? Check out these photos – we dare you to not look away.
1. Obama Becomes Increasingly Presidential
With Obama we can assume that 1) his hair is going to keep getting more and more gray just like it has in the White House and 2) that he’ll grow an awesome military goatee.
The end result is someone who looks ready to advise future Presidents on matters of state for many years to come, so we hope he stays in some sort of leadership role just so we can see the photos.
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2. Emma Watson is….Yep, Still a Surprisingly Beautiful Witch
The dynamo that is Emma Watson is currently making her mark in both movies and politics, but we’ll always remember her as a Hermione who grew increasingly hot as Harry Potter films passed.
It’s appropriate, then, that Old Watson looks more like a witch than ever, but somehow manages to keep that striking charisma that makes her so difficult to ignore. Just…don’t look too hard at the eyebrows. It messes everything up.
3. Justin Bieber – Appropriately? – Channels Sir Paul McCartney
We’re serious, it’s hard to manage anyone looking more like Paul McCartney than this oldified Bieber – and somehow that just seems so right.
Bieber, if this has any chance of being accurate, then you need to pay close attention to just what Sir Paul has done to keep living this long and being this successful…then imitate him.
Because let’s be honest, in a hundred years people won’t be able to tell you two pop stars apart anyway.
4. Halle Berry is Every Wise Old Woman Ever
If we were to rate these photos as the best to worst, Berry would probably win. Not only does she still look adorable, but she gains a deep mystic look that instantly wins her any wise woman part she wants to play.
Although with skin like that, we doubt she’ll have so many wrinkles any time soon.
5. Adrian Brody is a Malformed Nightmare
6. The Mona Lisa is That One Naughty Aunt
This one is especially interesting, because the demur, mysterious smile of the Mona Lisa transforms into what we knew it was all along – the lascivious smirk of an old aunt who’s had a couple too many at the family party and is about to start winking at the waiting staff…male and female. Seriously, Mrs. Lisa, please keep it in your pants, we’re in public.
7. Natalie Portman Will Be Playing Badass Women Until She’s 90
It looks like Portman will be keeping her cheekbones, and that hair style will probably keep looking great until she’s well into the grave.
Frankly, it’s still easy to see her in pretty much any swashbuckling role we can imagine, except her characters will probably start fighting for her grandkids as well as for her ideals and kingdoms.
Actually, we sort of want Old Portman on Game of Thrones ASAP. Can we make this happen?
8. Christina Aguilera Bakes Pies, Hands Out Candy
When it comes to classic old grandmas, Aguilera gets closer than anyone else on our list. It’s so easy to imagine her hugging grandkids and bustling around the kitchen, probably with some sweet tea somewhere.
Is it the hair? It’s probably the hair, guys. Still, lots of points for how nice this one turned out.
9. Charlie Sheen Loses Weight…and Sanity
It may be dangerous to assume that Charlie Sheen is going to live this long, but if he does…well, it’s not really surprising.
Looks like he’ll lose a whole lot of weight – we won’t speculate how – and get exponentially crazier, which is a pretty high mark for Sheen to hit: We especially appreciate the jaundiced eyes, which add both realism and terror.
10. Paris Hilton Is Going to Rock Her Retirement Home
Okay, Paris Hilton is probably going to have a retirement manor instead. But she still looks like the poster child for those crazy Florida retiree get-togethers we assume happen all the time in the sunny state.
Someone mix this old gal a few margaritas, because she’s here to party and trust us, it’s sort of her specialty.
11. Robert Pattinson Becomes the Manic Genius We Knew He Was
We gotta admit, the whole wild hair and crazy look really works for Pattinson, who manages to keep his smoldering charm even well into old age.
Granted, it’s not so much “Doc Brown” as it “Dr. Frankenstein,” but Pattinson has no problem with accepting more serious roles. We foresee great things in your future, Pattinson. Just don’t use us for some creepy experiment.
12. Gwen Stefani Has Many Regrets, Including Growing Old
Life would have been a whole lot better if she could have just stayed young forever, but alas, the reaper waits for no one.
Another thing that has little patience when it comes to old age: Tattoos. Thank god these are temporary – we’re sure that Stefani will be grateful after a few decades.
13. Cameron Diaz Can’t Keep Looking That Good Forever
….Or can she? What do you think, is this pic accurate or unfair? After all, Diaz has kept her looks for this long (she’s in her 40s, if you were curious), and likes to live a healthy life.
Personally, we think this is a little harsh, although the hair is spot on. Looking forward to seeing your life as a silver-haired executive, Cameron Diaz. Maybe invest in some extra skin creams, though.
14. Tobey Maguire Gets His Gollum On
Every time we try to think of something to say, all we can think of is “Gollum in a Spider-man suit, Gollum in a Spider-man suit.”
At least he manages to – Gollum in Spider-man suit! See, it happened again!
15. Kate Moss: Yeah, She Could Pull It Off
Kate Moss manages to stay classy…well, mostly classy. We could totally see her as a glamorous celebrity icon for the retirees, showing them the latest fashions for a stroll in the park or a black tie dinner.
Plus, English accents get sexier with age, it’s a proven fact.
16. Marilyn Monroe Loses the Fight Against Age
Maybe she shouldn’t have fought so hard, because the results aren’t pretty.
We know that Monroe had a questionable history of transforming into the Hollywood standard for her day: Would she really cling to a faded standard of beauty in her old age? So desperate. So sad.
17. Miley Cyrus Turns Into a Pretty Adorable Grandma
Take off the nose ring, imagine some better make-up decisions, and Miley Cyrus is clearly one of the best of the bunch.
She’s a no-sass grandma who loves her kids and gets stuff done. Clearly, Cyrus won’t be afraid to keep reinventing herself as needed, and the old version looks pretty cool.
18. Brandon Routh Auditions for the Mummy, Nails It
Seriously, we are almost at cadaver status here: Granddad Routh should eat something and maybe take off the old Superman costume.
On the plus side, there’s still something debonair about him, somehow.
19. Gwyneth Paltrow Tried So Hard, and Got So Far
But in the end, does it even matter? This is another where you should weigh in: Does Paltrow, so renowned for her esoteric health and beauty branding, end up looking like a boozy old broad at a casino?
Our head says we should be kinder than this, but in our gut it doesn’t feel so wrong.
20. Diane Kruger Still Isn’t Taking Your Crap
Diane Kruger, you deserve better roles out of life, since it’s obvious you are going to keep your grit well into old age.
Just keep on aiming at what you want, and we’ll stay out of your way. Because you’re impressive, yes – but also because old you is pretty intimidating.